Tuesday, 20 May 2008
-
A new day, A bad day.
Time doesn't ever really stop. It doesn't even slow. In fact, time is a stubborn being, it goes on and on with no regard to our wishes that sometimes we could have more of it. Unfortunately, with the progression of time, we must progress as well. Most of the time I'd say this was a good thing. But sometimes, out of the progression of time we just can't find the power to stop the devastation of it's wrath, then we get angry at yesterday because we can't get it back.
I'm quite typical. I can't stand for things to change. I get in my comfort zone and when things get out of sync I usually am physically ill until I get used to the new. That's what's going on today. Last night Shane showed me that his mental status was way beyond "one flew over the coocoo's nest". Even though we're not together, I still felt a sense of fidelity towards him. I didn't want to date anyone because I knew that if he got better & kept trying like he was, I'd probably want to be with him again. Last night I learned from somebody that for the past 3, possibly 4 months he's been sleeping with some girl multiple times a week. I learned that I'm in his cell phone as "baby#1". He told me he cheated on me because he thought I was cheating on him with one of my male friends. He said, "I never fucked anybody over who didn't have it coming to them." Then later on when I convinced him I wasn't cheating, he went on a guilt trip & started telling me he was sorry & asking if he messed things up for good. Of course he did. Oh, there was also a point where he said, "I told her to tell you that, because I can't trust myself around you to not hurt you." I told him no matter which one was true, I wasn't going to be with him at all, and that last night was probably the last conversation we'd ever have. It doesn't change the fact that I wish it was yesterday morning, though. I truly wish I didn't know any of this. But then again, I guess it's better to know than be ignorant to people walking all over you.
Hope everyone's day is well.
-
recommend
- recs 0
-
share
-
email
- sent 0
Post a Comment
- Back to LuCkyLiNdZy's Xanga Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in LuCkyLiNdZy's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (6)
Oh wow! He cheated because he thought you cheated....and you hadn't even cheated.
I understand what you meant by feeling some sort of fidelity towards him. I still feel that way towards my ex most times. But the tough part is if only one person is thinking that way and other isn't. I know that I feel that ways towards my ex, but honestly I don't know if he feels the same way....
Is he continuing on with his life while I'm thinking that there may be a chance of us being together?
aww, I know what you mean! how frustrating! sometimes I wonder if I would be better off not knowing things, but then sometimes I'm glad I found out. I hope everything works out and that you get feeling better. betrayal is a very hurtful feeling..
Okay, so I know soup isn't what you need right now but I thought that it might make you feel better anyway. I'm so sorry that you have to go through bullshit like this but what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right? I do know how you feel...I think every girl on the face of this earth has felt what you are feeling at least once in their life. It's an unfortunate thing that us women have to deal with because men are the scum of the earth. (Not all the time, but a lot of the time!) Take care and please hang in there. You will be okay. I have the feeling that you are a strong woman!
girl, I am sorry!!!! But I know this story wayyyyyyyyyyyy to well. He will be bothering you for a little while longer and then when he finds your done!!!! I mean DONE!!!! He will find his next prey.
In your about you, i see you love Jesus, well he really is all you need right now. He can be your love of your life because when we let him in that far into our hearts he will never leave you nor forsake you.. Start looking to healing yourself. You will feel better when you know God Loves you just the way you are no matter what you have done...
Have a very blessed day because your future is inside of you!!!!!!!!!
Keep your head up and don't let him pull you down, you deserve to be treated a lot better. When you feel down leave it up to God and he will be there to guide you and show you the way. Break ups are hard and it takes forever to put them in the past but eventually you heal.